


distant mountains

by DesertLily



Series: Found Family Bingo 2020 [5]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Brotherly Love, Enby!Race, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jack and Race as brothers, Nonbinary Race, Nonbinary Racetrack Higgins, Post-Strike, Santa Fe, nonbinary!Race
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:47:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26407477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertLily/pseuds/DesertLily
Summary: Even after the Strike, Race could never quite shake the fear that Jack was going to leave - that their brother would always be obsessed with Santa Fe
Relationships: Racetrack Higgins & Jack Kelly
Series: Found Family Bingo 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889911
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25
Collections: Found Family Bingo





	distant mountains

**Author's Note:**

> For the 'mountains' prompt for the Found Family Bingo

In all honesty, it was a fear Racetrack had been stuck with for a long time; the fear of losing their family. More specifically; the fear of losing Jack, the dumbass they called their older brother. Logically, it was a dumb fear. As much as he talked about Santa Fe, Jack had proven time and time again that he wouldn’t leave; that he’d always come back. He had the chance to leave after the Strike; to just disappear and restart entirely. But he had stayed. For some reason, Jack had stayed with them. Actually, it wasn’t for ‘some reason’. Racetrack  _ knew _ the reason. It wasn’t because of them or anyone else that had been Jack’s ‘family’. It was for Katherine and Davey. It was because the two of them had asked Jack to stay and  _ God _ , that hurt. All of this was because of them. The Strike was because of Davey. Jack had only come back because of Katherine. None of them had been enough for him. It had taken two  _ strangers _ to convince him. That sent a clear enough message. Jack didn’t care for his brothers anymore. 

Even now...Whenever Jack would smile at Race or joke around or just try and be  _ normal _ , it felt wrong. It felt  _ hollow _ . He didn’t really mean it. He had already proven that. Then Racetrack found Jack’s latest sketches and that was proof enough. It had been accidental, really. They had just needed some fresh air; an escape from the hell that was the full lodge house - when it was its most chaotic. Thankfully, Racetrack was alone on the rooftop. Jack was still down amongst the chaos. That was when they saw it. Tucked away in the corner was Jack’s latest sketches. Mountains and sunsets and places that were  _ not New York _ . Race  _ knew _ exactly what place they were supposed to be. Santa Fe. Jack had never stopped thinking about Santa Fe.  _ Jack was still going to leave for Santa Fe _ . 

It felt like a punch in the stomach. This was actually going to happen. Sure, they had talked about what would happen when Jack left but it had never hit them like this before. Race was supposed to take over when Jack left; they were supposed to become the new leader of the Manhattan newsies and  _ oh God _ , they couldn’t do that. They couldn’t do any of this. Everything felt like too much all at once. They felt sick and dizzy and just  _ wrong _ . It was like all at once the air had grown too heavy. Everything was too heavy. The sketch they were holding in their hands suddenly felt like it weighed tonnes; like it was an anvil made to hold them down. This was wrong. This was - Suddenly, there was a pair of arms wrapped around them and pulling them close. “Breathe, Racer. Just breathe.” 

So they listened to Jack. They let out the breath they didn’t even realise they were holding. “Don’t leave.” They sounded scared. There wasn’t any possible way to hide the fear in their voice; the way the words quivered with uncertainty. There was no way to hide their anxiety. “I-I can’t do this alone. I-I don’t know how to do this alone.” 

It was then that Jack seemed to notice the sketch Racetrack was holding with an iron grip. “Race...I ain’t going nowhere, alright?” He pulled them a little closer. Race turned so they could hug him properly. They  _ needed _ it. “These...These are just dumb sketches. Stuff from when I let my mind wander, yeah?” He waited for them to nod before continuing. “I’m never gonna leave like that.” His words were certain and since. In that very moment, they were  _ exactly _ what Race needed to hear. “I-I got a family here and it was a dumb idea to even consider leaving any of yous behind. An even dumber idea to plan on leaving my little brother in charge alone when their head’s full of nothin’ but cigar smoke.” 

“Hey!” Race shoved him back at that, smirking slightly. “Still got more thoughts than you. There ain’t nothing of value in your head, Kelly.” Just like that, things were beginning to lull back into normal. It was only a few sentences but it was the reassurance Racetrack needed; the reassurance no one else had offered them - that no one else  _ could _ offer them. “Just dumbass dreams and the desperation to flirt with anythin’ pretty!” This felt...normal. It felt  _ natural _ even. This was just how Jack and Race were supposed to be; they were supposed to tease each other and joke around without a care in the world. It was...nice. It was familiar. 

Jack let out a gasp of mock horror at that. “You wound me, Higgins! I can assure you that I have at least one full thought every week.” Race snorted. “I do! Probably. Just - Stop giving me that look, Racer! You know I’m right!” They couldn’t help it. They  _ laughed _ . They laughed and they didn’t stop. Soon enough, Jack was joining in. Just for that moment, they were just two brothers joking around on a rooftop. Just for that moment, nothing else mattered. The rest of the world didn’t matter. 

“Racer, you want to sleep up here tonight?” They froze at that,not quite looking at him. “Just so you know I ain’t gonna just up and leave.” Race didn’t say anything at that. They just nodded. Jack smiled, ruffling their hair. “Then c’mon, kid. It’s getting late.” Race managed to return their brother’s smile, keeping as calm as they could as they were dragged over to the old mattress that served as Jack’s ‘bed’. 

Racetrack slept more peacefully that night than they had in a long time. They were curled up next to their brother; their brother who  _ wasn’t _ going to leave; their brother who wasn’t going to abandon them. They weren’t going to be alone. Their dreams were peaceful that night. They dreamt of distant mountains and the brother would never leave Race to go and see them. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated! or hmu @ desert-lily on tumblr


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